By Marlene Caroselli.
Susan Von Tobel is a Marriage and Family therapist with a Master’s of Science in Education. Motivated by her love of children and the desire to help them understand diversity, she has authored three children’s books: Mei Ling’s Forever Mommy, which explores cultural diversity; Timmy’s Journey, which looks at family diversity; and Mei-Mei's New Home, which examines diversity through abandonment and adoption.
The divisiveness in the world today and the inability of many to accept differences respectfully are the two forces that led her to the work she does. “After adopting my daughter from China,” Von Tobel says, “I saw firsthand how challenging it is for children and parents to accept and even thrive as the result of our differences.” She firmly believes, “We can all become more curious about one another rather than being afraid.”
One of the tenets on which Von Tobel’s personal and professional lives are based is the concept of “diversity within ourselves.” She defines it this way: “I believe this idea is as simple as experiencing conflicted emotions within us, and as complex as the manner in which the conflict is played out with others. When one ‘side’ of an issue disagrees with another ‘side,’ we become frozen through our inability to accept the polarized parts of ourselves.” She adds, “We can often put up a strong barrier to keep out the ‘other,’ which thwarts our efforts to examine ourselves more fully.”
The psychological perspective is apparent in the words Von Tobel chooses to describe self- and other-acceptance. “Most of us want to see ourselves reflected in others,” she maintains. “We feel most comfortable when we surround ourselves with those who think like us. When this familiarity is the basis of relationships, our internal stasis is not challenged and thus, our emotional growth is limited. I am proposing that it might be possible to begin to feel close to others if we can become curious about the other, and even more, curious about ourselves.”
Von Tobel has defined her mission in life as helping children and their parents understand and grow in themselves and through each other by knowing and understanding diversity. She adds, “If we could become curious and want to learn from one another, imagine what a different world this would be.”
Different and even more wonderful, to be sure.
Article reprinted with permission of USAonRace.com
Featured Photo Credit: preschooler.thebump.com
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